In commanding tones my husband says; "I'm the master in this house. Whatever my wife says shall be done!"
Just one of the reasons why you know we have a good relationship.
While I was still looking for a mate on OKCupid (before I found him), someone asked why I was on OKCupid. I responded; "Well, I'm on okcupid because I've been a commitment junkie for years, and I keep going out with rebounds and then latching on them for years. Now, after doing that for the past six years (since I was 14), I figure it's finally time I try and find someone who is really right for me instead of the next guy I'm capable of loving."
And I did find someone who is really right for me!
OKCupid is a completely free dating site. I never spent a penny; although I did spend about six hours a day for around six months while I was single. I hate being single, and after three serious long-term live-in boyfriends, each of about two years, I was done with second-rate matches.
This time, when I went on a date with an 'okay' guy, it just wasn't enough. I kept searching. After a handful of local dates off of OKC I did a worldwide search for the best match. I specified in the search that they could not be smokers, and they could not be someone who drank frequently. I messaged everyone I thought was cute on the first couple pages of the highest match results.
Lytenian, my husband, was one of the people I messaged in October of 2009. On November 1st 2009 we talked on Skype for the first time - a free video and chat service. I hadn't been super impressed with his photos, but seeing someone's face animated as they speak is entirely different than how someone looks in the flash of a camera.
I knew I liked him a lot, and on December 10th 2010, we officially became a couple, even though we had never met in person. Before him, I would have never thought I would agree to long-distance relationship. I like to hug, to cuddle, to kiss and to share things in person!
We were talking an average of six hours a day; replacing my time messaging for that many hours on OKCupid. A few times we talked the entire night.
On January 23rd 2010 he flew me out to Walnut Creek, California to meet him; I stayed for three weeks. Yes, on a very first meeting, I suggested three weeks. I wanted to get the money's worth out of the round-trip flight tickets.
My father and I went on a six week roadtrip, three weeks of which we spent here at Lytenian's apartment. And then in February I moved out here. And on May 29th 2010 we went out and bought engagement rings - handcrafted. :)
We've had arguments, sure; but nothing serious. Nothing illogical. He really is a genuine 'knight in shining armor' and had been hiding like a hermit in his apartment because he didn't know how to find a woman he'd find suitable for himself. If you're looking for someone, I highly recommend OKC personally. I went on over fifteen dates from people I met on the site, and at worst, they were only boring. But most of them were a lot of fun.
When people meet my husband and I they think we've been married for years. We often get people telling us that we're "perfect" for each other, and that we look "very happy." And we are!
We are, very, very happy together.
In comparison to what most people consider fighting, we don't fight at all. ...Unlike my previous relationships which were full of constant bickering.
My husband admits when he's wrong, he apologizes when he messes up, he gets more angry with himself for losing his temper than I do, he values his time with me highly, he compliments me, and appreciates the little things I do for him. He somehow doesn't fully believe that I could possibly be happy with him because he's so humble and thinks so highly of me. I would have never dreamed all of that possible in a husband!
So how does OKC work? How does it "match" you with others?
There are user-made questions with four possible answers written by the creator of the question. The question might be, "Which of the follow is your biggest inspiration?" And the answers might be, "Myself," "My family," "My friends," and "Books." You pick your answer, and then it asks just below that, "How would your ideal mate answer this question?" You may feel that your friends inspired you the most, but maybe you wish that your ideal mate would have said "Myself", so you could select that. Then lastly it asks, "How important is their answer to you?" And you have the five options from "Not important," to "Mandatory." There is also a feature where you can check a box to make your answer public so that others can read your question answers on your profile.
Based on your answers to the questions, OKC gives you a match rating with every other member of the site. When I did the world-wide search on men within the right age-range who didn't smoke or do drugs, and who didn't select drinking "often" (and organized my results by the highest match rating), Lytenian came out to a 92% match rating. Usually when you have such a high rating it is because the other person has not answered enough questions. In this case, both of us had answered nearly 1000 questions. When you've both answered that many, it's very rare to get a match rating above 80%.
If you answer the questions accurately, spend the time writing letters and carefully read others' profiles and question answers, it really can be used to find love.
For me, it found me a life-time partner who is a compliement to me in everyway.